I wish this post could be over a cup of coffee. We are ending another year and for me, I am ending a decade that closes out in a little over 2 weeks.
I am not a big fan of New Year's resolutions because a lot of people make them and there is not plan of action to follow it and I am a big planner. (Hi, I'm also an Enneagram 8). There can be toxic positivity, anxiety, and fear of failing that all impact people planning or failing to plan. None of that makes you look forward to something so its not a great foundation to start on. If you have a strong desire to be intentional, but also don't want expectations hanging over you, read along. We have packed a whole lot of life in and say yes to open doors and here are some things to think about as you pray and plan over your New Year.
1. Life is a gift. If you aren't in the right head space, shift your perspective. Start with what you are the most grateful for and what your biggest accomplishments are. Many people don't get to write those things down this year. In different seasons, we experience great loss or sickness because in this world we will have trouble. Take heart. Look up. There are things in your life that are a gift and they need to be recognized before you can plan. If this is hard for you, pray to see gratitude. There were holiday seasons that I sat in some darkness after losing pregnancies. Sit where you are, but shift your eyes.
2. A year isn't a year. About 10 years ago, I sat inside an event that was a leadership conference. It was with the top executives of a very successful company and the professor was from Harvard. He spoke on something that changed the way I planned and lived. A year isn't a year. If you say, "I want to _______ this year", and that is the extent of your goal, it will not happen. It's time to get specific. Whether its a new job, entering into the dating world, adoption, travel, planting a church, giving, whatever, name what's on your heart specifically." Then, instead of 12 months, you have roughly four 12 week quarters. There are many books and podcasts about this idea. Making a 12 month goal can be broken down into accountability and action. So, lets take when we wanted to adopt. The first 12 weeks we focused on filling out all paperwork. 6 weeks in, that was the half way point to see where we were. Weekly tasks and action needed to happen to hit this. The next 12 weeks, we signed up for state required Impact Training through DFCS. 12 weeks following was a homestudy and any final requests. And the final 12 weeks, we received child submissions.
3. The idea is to take consistent action. What keeps you from taking a step? The dream can be broken down into mini projects that are worked on all year. Not in one day. Not to procrastinate and wait until the end of the year. Start with something small. Maybe its something simple and once you see things advance it will give you the confidence to take on bigger things. It could be a family trip. Don't plan it out of guilt or sadness that your kids are getting older. Always get your mindset right first because that is your foundation of planning. Spend 12 weeks researching, at 6 weeks you should have a list you are then deciding on. Spend the next 12 weeks and put a date on the calendar, there will always be a conflict, but put it on the calendar anyway. 12 weeks of logistics of what you will do and then the last 12 weeks will hopefully be you on the trip. All of this can be done faster, but for those starting, this is a good place. We spent a lot of our marriage and time raising kids going to places that are free or next to nothing. Camping, going to the lake, traveling to see family, going on a fall leaf drive, hiking, local or long distance mission trips that you can raise support for, or just an easy overnight date each quarter.
4. Evaluating your commitments and taking them before the Lord is probably the most important thing we can do. We started our business almost 8 years ago to change culture. Tim had been in the industry and in the service industry, work was our only life. He was working 7a-7pm and on call at night for commercial service buildings that required hvac to be running nonstop. People worked until burnout. Tim saw so many companies with high turnover. We wanted to do business differently and also model it to all the people we could hire. Everyone wants happy customers, but what about happy employees? Was it possible to run a high demand service based business with work/life balance? I say yes. And our team would too. Our teenagers are going to act like teenagers. And toddlers will act like toddlers. Embrace the season and plan anyway. I don't ask my kids, I don't wait for their attitudes to get right, and we have our fair share of ups and downs while living out adventures together. Don't "wait until you're in a different season." Throw them in the car and get out of dodge, you'll all be better for it.
5. Something may need to go. What is draining you? If you are committed to something, fulfill your commitment. Then, I would challenge you to ask God, "What's next?" Don't get complacent. Open new doors to serve, to meet people, to let other people step up. Passion is a huge motivator and you need to have that. Let God renew it with new opportunities and relationships. Think about taking a risk to not only say yes, but to say no.
6. Tim and I often use so much nonverbal communication with three teenagers. It has become comical. Grin and do it. We see a trauma counselor regularly since we adopted Zach many many years ago and she said sometimes when things are crazy or frustrating, just take a deep breath and say, "It's just like this." Embrace where you are.... the hard, the stressful, the meltdowns, the attitudes... and do it anyway. Because it is just like this right now, but it won't be one day. We will be empty nesters at 44 and our house will be very quiet. I am also not the mentality that "You are 18 and you are out now", but that 's for another post. Some kids need a gap year, to live at home and work, to go to trade school, or maybe it is a 4 year university. We are holding our doors to our home open, as well as our hearts. Mainly, because we know we can continue to plan our life, reach goals, take action, and then help our children do that as well.
12 weeks at a time.
So, instead of asking people, "What are your goals for 2022?" Ask them what their goals are for the next 12 weeks. I don't look at turning 40 as turning 40, ask me in about 12 weeks how it's going and I can tell you that. I will have pushed a domino.
Cheers to you and yours. Give your time to the Lord, remember your days are numbered, be wise and also be at peace. Here was our 2021 Top 9 photos. It is my marriage and family, the very most important things to me and the filter in which all things run through. These kids are passing through and I'm ready for another year.
xoxo
