If you want to change the world, pick up your pen- Martin Luther.
I would never say that patience is one of my virtues, but God has changed me. Changed me in big ways. And a change I know He can bring about in anyone. During the chaos of being newly weds, moving, changing jobs, having babies, moving, having miscarriages, changing careers, making friends, joining churches, ect- the big picture can be lost. This next home will be our 4th house we have bought- (that's 7 closings if you are counting...) You can feel as though your life is moving forward, but not making impact. And not accomplishing goals or seeing your dreams come true. We have such a small window of being able to understand what God is doing in our big picture.
I vividly remember 6 years ago Tim laying out his real estate dream to me, and heck, anyone that came over to our house. I still found him (and still do, haha!) irresistibly charming, driven, and I liked houses so I would just listen. Then, I remember when he left our first job being married to pursue his dream, that was scary. And didn't really work out. The housing market crashed that year. The construction company he worked for filed bankruptcy. At that time we had a newborn. I just remember thinking, Okay.... well, let's find a new hobby for you!
We kind of pushed that dream aside and Tim did sales for 4 years. In any spare time we had those years, besides the fact both our children were born, you could find us looking at houses online, driving through old and new developments, and talking about renovations to properties. It was a fun conversation.
Little did we know when our last home sold and God re-directed Tims career...... that He was taking us to the place where our dreams were going to come true. At the time, we were stripped of everything. That was 2 years ago. It's so crazy to me.
I saw God completely transform where we were. He gave Tim a career to be passionate about. And He gave us Nellie Mae to do a project we had always dreamed of. I never thought we would have ended up here! I now see that God was answering different prayers we had and choosing not to answer other ones. i.e: growing our family: God had bigger things He wanted to do first. I, not understanding, found myself hurt a lot and felt abandoned by God in many ways. Each ultrasound of those 5 babies we lost are engrained in my mind forever. My tearful confessions and prayers asked Jesus to please carry me through these times that made no sense. 2 years later Tim is at the top of his industry and doing commercial HVAC, Nellie Mae is going to be our first rental property, and we won a bidding war on a foreclosure in downtown Marietta- a house that is beyond what we could have prayed for. I think God looking down had so much compassion on me and my broken, broken heart. And He kept telling me to Hold Fast.
It's hard sometimes to go to extremes. And I keep waiting to wake up and realize none of this is really happening. I know it sounds ridiculous.
God really cares. He really does. About the big and small dreams you have. A dream that was talked about 6 years ago, God has brought full circle. I had pretty much thought God didn't really "hear" that one. Or that He only makes your spiritual dreams come true.
After seeing what He has orchestrated in my life, I know 2 things.
He is there.
And He cares very much so.
He cares we want more children. He cares that you miss a loved one. He cares about future plans. He cares where you live. He cares about YOU.
He is your Father. And loves you just because you are you. You don't have to do anything to make Him love you. And just as we want to give our children gifts, He wants to give you the greatest gifts in the world. His timeline is perfect.
Don't waste your time wondering if He is there and if He cares, take it from my learned lessons that He is listening, acting, moving, and working things for your good.
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