Thank you for all the messages, notes, and phone calls about the miscarriage. I know it is not really a PC thing to talk about, but many women suffer and many women suffer in silence. This is one of the areas of my life I chose to write about because I feel it reaches many women. And we are doing just fine. As heartless as it may sound, I am used to miscarriages and the recovery, used to change and transition, and feel like it has made me bounce back quicker. I also have hope that as God always has, he will expand and grow our family in His timing, not mine. It's a lesson he has taught me several times so I will be faithful and praise Him in this storm.
During all of this mess, we've had another fork in the road come up and I am asking for your prayers.
We have 2 paths right now and are praying for God to direct us and show us the right one. It does not have to do with babies or anything like that and I will be able to expound later.
A decision has to be made whether we chose the path we are currently on or we take the fork. Either way we have to decide. We feel like we have little clarity right now and are waiting for God to show up and make our choice very clear. It's a positive thing and a blessing we feel either way. We just want God's best, we don't want to settle, and after everything we've been through.... we aren't going to take the easier path. The hard road has been hard, but worth it.
I know I've griped about how hard our life has been the past year, but I'd like to point out the blessings God has poured out b/c of it:
He sold our house at $200,000 in 13 days. The house value dropped and is currently at $170,000. Praise the Lord. ( I know for us, not the buyers....)
He provided Tim a new career and a fully funded scholarship to get his degree in it
Tim has never been happier and feel as though this is his life long industry
We were able to renovate a house from bare bones.
Our house only costs half of what it's worth is b/c of the renovations
We learned and did things we didn't know how to do.
We have no debt through this process and will pay off our house in 5 years.
We have 2 healthy children and I feel like my loss has shown me my career for later in life
I am living my dream of being a stay at home mother
He has also blessed my little house cleaning business with 5 families I adore
I have to remind myself of our long term progress and know that God is taking us somewhere. I have to remind myself of these blessings and His faithfulness during trials and decision making times.
So there, there was optimistic Jen. Please pray as God has clearly put this fork in our road we would do the right thing and know. Know and have no doubts. These are the verses I am claiming:
I love the KJV on this one.
Call unto me and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things that thou knowest not.
Many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lords purpose that prevails
And my sweet mother in law gave me this verse b/c I feel as though we have lost fortunes along the way of this whole process...
Restore to us our fortunes O Lord, like streams in the desert.
Those who sow in tears will reap songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping and carrying seeds to sow, will return with songs of joy carrying sheaves with him
Please pray for us.
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