Wrecking Ball Faith

Some days we struggle with feeling so mean. Although every change that has happened to our new son is positive, it is change. His life literally went from one extreme to the other. He has had major transition and the things that he once found security in are gone. He is now being taught to have relationships with people, not objects or himself. He is responding really well, but does have moments of grieving.

We have had to completely go through demolition in his little life. Wipe out the bad habits, behaviors, anti-social tendencies, bad responses, ect. And replace it with all good things. A family, a general education school environment, a home, friends, a schedule, normal meals, and structure. Even though these are all positive changes, they are things being implemented for the first time in 7 years. And whether they are positive or not, they are new. And we have ripped out and done demolition on what he once thought was life. There is a beautiful transition happening in the middle of our construction site with this child.

We know it is for his best interest and he seems to trust that. This story we are living out reminds me so much of our own journey. It has given me great perspective on where people are and the mission we are really on. Our job to love others. Our job to show others Christ. But, in order to do that, you have to meet them in the middle of their mess. To adopt a child you have to take them as is. There isn't a layover place for them. So you either adopt and take them in or you don't.

Why are we so shocked by peoples sin? Why?
Even with my own son right now, would I expect his behavior to be any different than what it is? His behavior can be offensive  to many, but is that surprising? It would be out of David or Mackenzie, but not Z. A child that has never had a family and had severe neglect, isolation, and abuses of different kinds, then institutionalized for 4 years...... would I be shocked by any behavior I see? No.

So, why, why then? Why do we as Christians act shocked, surprised, judgmental, condescending, and better than others? Especially at people who do not have the Lord as their Savior. How is it fair?
Romans 1:28
Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 
Let me translate that simply: If they are are not walking with the Lord, their walk will look the opposite of that. People that choose their way have been given over to their will.

They do not have a new heart. So, they are not to be held at the same standards. I cannot hold Z to the same disciplines as I hold my other 2 children at. It's not fair because his eyes are just being opened. He knows no different. But, we can pray for these people and those changes we want. We know that, "the prayers of the righteous avail much." James 5:16. I had a very neat lady that serves as the Special Education director here in our city share that with me about Z. I know I am his biggest advocate. At home, school, and now in his life. And that is what makes us his parents. How much more does our heavenly Father love us, fight for us, and advocate for us?

In the same way, when we see heinous, disturbing, sinful things in the media, celebrities, our neighbors, our spouse, children, or anywhere...... if they have not been transformed and entered a life changing relationship with our Maker, then what right do we even have to speak to that?

To take it one step further, what about the people that do know better? The ones that have claimed to know the Lord, yet live a double life? Let me just tell you I do know this: You are not the one that is going to change their heart, that is the Lords job. If you are unable in a loving way to continue a relationship despite where that person is, I would say the sin falls in your camp. I think there are only a few unsafe situations and those go without saying. It is the Lord who changes hearts and we stand in the gap to speak truth, love, and pray for them.

In the meantime, you will see some peoples life go to shreds. A real life wrecking ball do demolition and watch them loose everything they once had.

Maybe, just maybe, the Lord is tearing down the old, to replace it with something so much better. Isaiah 64:8, But you, O Lord, You are our Father. You are the clay and you are our potter. And all of us the work of your hand.
So, instead of taking a step back from these people, talking about them, thinking they have destroyed their life......

It may be one of the most beautiful things to watch. You may be at the very camp site of where God has set up.  Because sometimes the Lord has to break and clear out the old ways to make a way for what He is going to do and build.

When I see destructive sin, I see an opportunity for the Lord. For us as believers. I am drawn to it. Not out of gossip and fascination, but out of pleading it is the Lords work.

Next time you see caution or crime tape and you naturally don't want to go in, I dare you to cross over anyway. When people do that, lives are changed.
Sometimes a wrecking ball is the very thing we all need.

Adversity

One of our favorite restaurants in downtown Marietta is Taqueria Tsunami. It has a huge variety of really fun tacos. Our kids love it as well. At the end of the meal, they bring you fortune cookies. We always have a good time with how silly they are. We usually never get serious ones so it is funny.
On our last visit there, my fortune read: 
 Adversity willingly undergone is the greatest virtue.

 Touche, little fortune cookie, touche.

Tim and I laugh about our crazy journey a lot because out of all the hardship and suffering we have had that was out of our control, we have now entered a place where we go down chosen roads that are very difficult. We steer our life towards it.

We may be sick people.
Ha!

We have more plans for 2014 that would be considered difficult and a path of adversity. I have learned that you don't owe anyone an explanation for it. To each his own.
Anyway, a verse I love and am praying for 2014 is John 16:33.
In this world you WILL have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

We are promised trouble, but we are given help. And more importantly, we are given HOPE.

In light of our adoption, that is where we find ourselves. With help. And with hope.

Things are going well and we are having more good days than bad. It is truly amazing to watch a life literally be transformed. We have a lot of appointments set up for January for our little fella and we are continually optimistic that we have put him on a road to healing. It has really been perfect timing with adopting him in the middle of the holidays. With school being off, Tim not working a crazy amount, and so many festive things to do.... our family has really settled in and had a great time together. On the same note, January is bringing in some normalcy. Christmas can be a little overwhelming and for our little guys first one, all of the crazy needs to settle. Someone gave us some great advice to take videos of him, as well of photos, to literally see the difference in him months from now. I can already see them and its so cool.
He is becoming so responsive. So aware. And his happiness is crazy. He makes us laugh so much and we have nicknamed him "Skippy" because he is SO happy to go out and run errands he normally skips every place we go.
It took David and Mackenzie a long time to figure out why in the world he was bursting with excitement to go to the grocery store.

Blessings to everyone in the new year! I want to challenge you, as continually doing with my own family, to not make plans and decisions based on what will make your life easy. Don't let adversity slow you down or change your mind in moving forward.

We have found almost every time walking straight into it has brought some of our greatest moments. And if anything else, has made life a whole lot more fun :)

Cheers to 2014!!

30 Days into Adoption

I wish I could let every single person experience what we have experienced through this adoption. We matched with him in September, started our visits in October, and we are approaching the 30 day mark of moving Z into our family. We had him 8 days over the Thanksgiving break so I am including part of that. We will finalize our adoption in court in May. We will give him a middle name. We will keep his birth name and will also be able to share it and some actual photos at that time via social media.

If you ever doubt that there is a God and how powerful, amazing, and redeeming He is, adoption can prove that. If you also ever doubt how real, dangerous, and destructive the enemy is, adoption can prove that as well.

We like hard.
We like challenges.
We don't want easy.
We weren't made for that.

This may take me a long time to process what all just happened. The transition of moving a 7 year old boy into your home that has never had one is crazy. But awesome.  I think people are afraid of adoption because of the unknown. Especially with an older child.  All I can say is that it's going to be okay. Its okay to be scared, just give it to the Lord and have hope that he will make the dark places light. Hope is a huge part of our story and it always stands renewed.
Hope for the hopeless. It kind of makes life worth living.

For every emotion you can feel, there is the opposite of that, and it ricochets back and forth and all at the same time.

The joy of adopting. Of an orphan no longer being an orphan. Another child in our family. One less child in an orphanage.

But, the stress and hardship of your whole world changing. And adapting to a child that has no idea what's going on. Imagine a 7 year old that has had no boundaries, home schedule, defiance that is deep rooted, detachment from caring about a lot of things, major communication limitations, and deficiencies that you are still discovering.... and probably will be for a while. Very rare issues that have come up that we haven't even heard of before. Because this child has not had the norm at all. There have been many days we are exhausted beyond belief. Frustrations and failures. Epic Meltdowns. Bad trips out to restaurants, stores, and not leaving the house much. Implementing structure. Discipline. Social development. School. I could never even type what we have seen and had to take head on. Its funny, we are unbelievably exhausted and energized, elated and frustrated...all at the same time.

It is a big job. But, one we went seeking.... looking.... and searching for.

We are unbelievably happy. Our new son is unbelievably happy. And that's really all that matters. The journey in which we got here and even in which he got here matters less and less.

I won't share much about his past. Mostly to protect him. And also because it is something we have had to grieve. Its not really world wide web material.

The only thing and picture I can paint for you is that he has had no family. An orphan. No one advocating or fighting for him. No one giving him a chance. He has been kept in isolation. There have been all different levels of neglect stemming across his past. I can't focus on what he has been through, but straining ahead and pushing the ball forward. But, I do feel sorry for the people that have hindered this sweet boy along the way. That is in the Lords hands, not mine.  From basic needs being met to major needs being met. Everything is new to him. EVERYTHING.
We adopted an academically smart 7 year old. But, a socially developed 3 year old. Similar to an international adoption, our sweet son has no idea about really anything out in the world. And really  no idea how to interact with others at all yet. His own language, so to speak.

He is doing awesome. Each day we are hitting MAJOR milestones. It is bittersweet seeing him see things, discover things, and experience life for the first time at the age of 7. It cuts to the core seeing  his "twin" David who has lived a full little life in his 7 years. I see the holes. I see the gaps. And I think Z is seeing and grieving what he has been through. And that is good.  I can also see so quickly them being Healed. Filled. Transformed. Made new.

He is wanted. And he knows that. He is loved. And he revels in that. He feels safe.
He can see now, physically and mentally. We got you glasses on Wednesday, buddy! He is given independence. He is given choices. He is given outlets. He is given so much food and he is loving it.  He is being told no. And more importantly, he is being told yes. He is being parented. He has started calling us mommy and daddy. The three of our kids interact as if it had always been. David and Mackenzie love him and are doing really well with the transition. They are protective of him and look out for him because they know everything is so new to him. Its really sweet.

He has a family. And it is a beautiful thing to watch a child that has never have one experience that.  God gives big grace.

BIG grace.

He equips us. Strengths us. And His mighty, mighty power to look after and care for the orphans is radical. I don't know how people adopt that don't know the Lord. For that matter, I'm not quite sure how people parent without knowing the Lord.

You have to give your kids to the Lord.

You do your very best. And then you ask God to step in and direct their steps. I pray really hard for my kids. Adoption has brought that to a very real level for me.

Adoption has not just given me a new son, but it has made us a better family. Made me a better mom. Tim a better dad. And our children better people.  They are right now exposed to a child with special needs. And they will get to see how a child like this was not just persued, but fought for, prayed for, and ultimately healed. Because we know God is going to heal him.

We covet your prayers. We are blessed beyond measure. Our family is a rock. Our friends are saints. And our whole entire church brought us food the month of December.

It has been the best Homecoming ever. Ever.

I hope all of you and yours have the best Christmas ever. This may just be our Merriest Christmas yet.

Here is our verse for 2014 for our family and most importantly, Z.
Isaiah 42:16
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.

Happy Birthday Mackenzie!!

Happy 5th Birthday, Mackenzie! You are our little Christmas gift! I will never forget how fun and crazy it was 5 years ago to have you one week before Christmas. We loved it. It was the year we were the most organized. I had everything ready for Christmas a month before you came. The hospital was all decorated, Santa was roaming the halls, and I got to go home within 24 hours because you were so easy and everything was fine! This year,you spent the day with your grandma and great grandma going shopping and had a girls day! You still hold the title of the only grand DAUGHTER on both sides of the family so you may be a little bit spoiled. We had family over that night for pizza and cake. And then we celebrated with your girlfriends later and had a tea party with dolls. You are so much fun, Mackenzie. You are a really amazing sister and a very caring and thoughtful daughter. Even so young, you put others first and always speak to everyone. We are so proud of you and love you so much!!!

GOTCHA day

On December 4, 2013 at 5:45pm we picked up our new 7 year old son! We GOTCHA buddy!

Welcome Home, Z!!

I will have details soon, but its crazy town over here!

Z is finishing his 2nd day of Kindergarten right now.

Praise the Lord.