Maid Fairies are Real

okay. if someone can just go ahead and please comment and explain to me why my life is the equivalent of 6 Flags Over Georgia, that'd be great.
To preface my story, here are some facts you need to know about me.
1. My next door neighbor is crazy. No, really. No..... really. She is pushing 60 years old, she is Wiccan, she has parrots, she walks around with a voice recorder, she has about 35 birdfeeders in her backyard (which is psuedo my backyard), she tried to buy my perscription drugs when i had both my babies and pneumonia, and her Christmas card had a picture of the band White Snake on the front. So, she isn't married... shocker, i know. Ok. put that in your back pocket.
2. My oven broke yesterday. I don't know why I am prone to fires, but something sparked, flamed, and so I turned it off.... and got ready with a pitcher of water to fight the fire. It went out, but the oven died. Stupid thing is only 3 years old. Mr. Tim the Tool Man is going to fix it though... anyway, I am without my beloved oven.
3. I was car-less today. Tim's rear brakes were shot so his car had to slumber party at the mechanic. He borrowed mine today and we were supposed to pick it up when he got off.
4. I was money-less today. I never carry cash, only my debit card. However, I do have checks, but realized I had written the darn last one, no more checks!!!
5. Our Bff's moved in 10 doors down and we see them pretty much 24/7. We've both always lived in Canton so we basically hang out all the time. They are the greatest.

So, with those 5 facts, this was my day.
I woke up and walked the kids down to playgroup at a neighbors house this a.m. A little gusty and I got a few nasty looks from passerbys, but sue me.... I had no car.
I get home and remember that I am making dinner for a family.... tonight!! They had a baby recently and so I was planning on bringing them a meal! Hmmmm, this could be kind of an issue with cooking their casserole with no oven. Crap. I decide to go ahead and make it and figure out the oven part later. As I am making it, I realize I have no way to take them the meal since Tim has my car..... and who the hell knows when he is really getting home anyway! Grrr. I continue my meal planning.

RING. (my phone).

Me: "hello?"
MF (Maid Fairies): "Hello, Jennifer. We are the maids that cleaned your house over the holidays. We have had so many people call us that you referred us to that we wanted to clean your house for free as a thank you present to you."
Me: no response. <<>>
MF: So, we are almost at your home and we will see you in a few.
Me: "Seriously??? "
MF: "Yes mam, if it's not okay...that's fine. But, we really want to."
Me: "Oh, YES! Come on over!"
Literally, they show up, pour in, and start cleaning.

My realizations:
There are maids cleaning my house right now, for real. I am in the process of destroying my kitchen. I have no oven to bake the meal for the family. I have no car to take the meal to the family. I have no check/cash to at least give these people a tip for cleaning the house. I have no car to go get moola.
While the maids are cleaning, I finally decide to go ask my crazy neighbor if i can borrow her oven. Then, I realize that the week before one of her parrots had died. She had told me she was going to creamate the bird herself. I knock on her door and as I'm changing my mind, she opens! Ahhh! I think quick and tell her that I am bringing her a plate of casserole later.... and leave. There is just no way I can risk using her oven.... God only knows what has been in it.
Okay, I've also realized that today that I am like the pig from "If you Give a Pig a Pancake." It starts out like.... If you give a pig a pancake, she'll ask you for some syrup. If you give a pig some syrup, she'll ask you for a bath b/c she is sticky...... you get it. That was me today.
I call my bff to see if she has gotten off work and is nearby to save my life.
So, not only is she around, she picks up the remaining items of the meal at the store for me, goes by the ATM and gets cash for me to tip the maids, drops it all off, takes the casseroles home and cooks them in her oven for me..... and...... watches and feeds my kids while I drive her car to take the family the meal!!!!
Thanks, Jess!!!!!!!!!!!
I keep my word and go drop off a plate of casserole to my crazy neighbor. She opens it up and says, "Yum, Orville (her other parrot that is alive) will love this. Thanks for bringing it." Why does she feed a parrott casserole, why? That could have been my lunch tomorrow, sad.

Anyway, we have the greatest friends, really. Another neighbor takes Tim to go pick up his car so I will no longer be without.
And, lastly.... Happy Birthday Peggy! Sorry again I dropped off a card and roll of cookie dough at your door tonight. I would have baked them, but.... well.... you know! Who likes baked cookie dough anyway, really!
1. I am sorry to Tim for yelling at him when he called and said he was going to be home late. You are not the worst person in the world, i think i said that. Even though we are mean and sarcastic to each other a lot.... dont worry we have been for 10 years, its kind of our love language.
2. I love and am grateful for my clean house..... for it does not come easy with children... I am ever so grateful for the Maid Fairies that showed up at my door.... I really only thought that happened in movies. Oh my gosh, Im still shocked!
3. I love the village of people that help us live life. We need lots of help and apparently that is pretty evident to those around us =)
We thank the Lord for all of our laughs today!!!


Meghan said...

Dang, girl! That's rough day! Thank goodness for friends! =) Glad you somehow managed to get it all taken care of!

Also, since you said you are looking to move, what kind of house do you guys own (#bedrooms/#bathrooms, 1 or 2 story?) I'll be sure to pass the info on to anyone I know looking for a place to live!


Rachel said...

I love your stories! I know that was a rough day but I so get a kick out of you retelling your day to day life. I'm also glad you have such a great friend that came to your rescue...and that's amazing about the maid fairies!!!!

natalie said...

You are so funny!!! And don't worry...Daniel and I have a sarcastic love language as well! If it works, don't fix it :) Hope your oven is repaired soon!

Bethany said...

Jennifer, I'm sitting here at my kitchen table, sick as a dog, and decided to check in on my blogger buddies. You're posts have made me laugh out loud - more than once! Thanks for beins so REAL! It's something that we can relate to! Hope you're oven's fixed!! LIEP.

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