Today marks the one year anniversary of when our 12 month storm began. We signed closing documents on our home on 4.23.10.
Sometimes, I find myself staring off.... Sometimes, silence falls between my husband and I. And I know what we are both distracted by in thought.

These are the things that pass by my mind as I process and move forward with the life that is in front of us. These past 12 months have brought so much change, but at the core... life changing values that I hope to become a better woman through.
I think about...
~How we thought we were being so random by putting our house on the market just to "see if it would sell". We were hoping to buy a bigger home (Oh, I laugh about this one a lot)

~How God brought us buyers who offered full price 13 days later.

I think about,
~How we started looking for homes, asked Tim's parents if we could move in until the new one closed, and how we almost put a contract on one in Roswell.

~ How the day I was getting paperwork ready for an offer, Tim called home and told me he was on his way home. He had been laid off his job.

~How we both just cried and tried so hard to understand what was going on. Why had God sold our home and now taken Tim's job??

~How we had such sweet friends comfort and pray for us. How my best friend that lived 2 doors down came over and just layed in the bed and cried with me as I sat in our house full of boxes.

~ How we tried to make light of our trials that at least we were both home to pack. We moved all our stuff to storage unit. And we called Tim's parents and told them we were going to need to stay a little longer.

~How I said goodbye to my sister and she moved to Savannah.

~How I helped my family move my sweet grandma into assisted living.

~How I've never baked a meal with so much love then the day my dad came home from the hospital having his Stage 1 Melonoma Cancer removed.

I think about ...
~How Tim went on a soul-searching journey the next month to find out what it was that God had designed him to do.

~How he became interested in HVAC and God provided a full scholarship for school, work, and all the tools he would need.

~How we quickly saw God's plan unfolding as our house selling allowed us the financial freedom and location freedom to pursue a career change for Tim

~ How within a month a buyer fell through on my grandmothers last rental property and the door opened for us to buy it interest free.

~ How even in our darkest moments, anger towards eachother, and bitterness, we managed to pull together, both work, raise babies, renovate a house, and pave through a new found career.

~How much our families and friends surrounded us, helped us, and physically came to work on Nellie Mae.

~How we completed the house, moved in with still so much work left, and were so blissfully happy just to have a place of our own again. (we moved in without hot water)

~How job offers rained down from the sky and Tim is now so happy and successful.

~But then how we quickly found out we were accidentally pregnant and then miscarrying at Christmas. A painful reminder of the unfortunate previous ones we have had.

~How we found a church home here, friends, and made a new home.

~How much I've realized that all my kids know as home is Tim and I. Home is not walls to them, just us together. They have an appreciation for family and love simple things.

So yes, during those silent times, sometimes we just look at eachother and smile. Only him and I have been through this specific storm together and what we've conquered is a bond that we share. We have become quick to listen to God, and quick to yield our plans and desires to Him. Our feathers don't really get ruffled. We bend with the wind.

Because on this Easter weekend, God has made himself alive to us in many ways.
He is alive because He never left us in the storm. He was with us conversation by conversation, moment by moment, and literally brick by brick building our new house and life together.

Our house was therapeutic for us. The renovation was about 4 years of stress from a Sales job that Tim got to have one huge outlet for. Some days I would just drive by the house, see Tim covered in dirt from head to toe, smile and hand him lunch. And leave.
The song, The House That Built Me, came on all summer and in so many ways.... it did shape and build who we are.
Thank you Lord for helping us. It' s the journey that God is interested in. We wanted a home, and He handed us a hammer! He gave us everything we'd need to get through the storm.

He is risen indeed.


Ashley said...

Jen, you have such a way with words. I look forward to every post you write. This is such a sweet, heartfelt post, and it made me cry.

Whitney said...

Hi Jen! It's been so long, and I don't know that I've ever commented on your blog before. But I do come by and read up on how y'all are doing from time to time.

Not that you need me to say it, but I want to say it anyway: I'm so proud of you and Tim and the life you're living/making together! Undertaking the project of renovating Nellie Mae and how you've both trusted God to work out what He needs to work out for you - I love hearing your story. :)

Love you, friends! And glad that something like a blog can keep you within reach after so many years and even at such a distance! Bee-doo! (is that how to spell it?)

Whitney (SBP '02 & '03 - what what!) :P

jennifer said...

Thanks sweet Ashley =) I really want to see you before you move!
And Whit!! I'm so glad you wrote!! Thanks for your sweet words, It means a lot! I loved our SBP days, it's those days that I am so glad I spent so much time investing in the right things! (wow i am sounding so old right now, ;)
I hope you are well and if you have a blog, sent it my way. xoxo

Dupree Family said...

I love reading your blog...and this post was so heartfelt. My heart goes out to you with your miscarriage. We had one before we had Aidan, and that pain is one that sears you like a tatoo and never fully goes away. I'm so thankful that y'all lean on God as your rock. He is so faithful and good. Your family is beautiful and I'm so happy for y'all!

Whitney said...

hi again! i do have a blog: whitdawg.blogspot.com

all right, i gotta go to bed - night night!

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